It has been long...

Ok... I know it has been forever since I have been on here... I am now talking to this guy.. He is pretty cool but yeahh... Idk.. SO much has gone on and can't think of anything to say now.. Spring break was fun! I went to for chaffee with a bunch of friends and we went on a ghost hunting thing.. but during the day.. I know LAME but that is us.. I'm too scared to go in the dark.. I tried to upload photos but it won't let me.. maybe next time.. I had a fire night with 12 people over and it is so much fun.. IDK what to say! I am just tired.. very tired. and I am so lame that i am just going to go.. cause I can't think of anything.. byee

Hello, I am Miss ____________.

So this week I have been everyone's "go to" girl.. It's not that I don't LOVE helping people cause I do, it's just I need time for me.. ya know? Lately I have been finding myself more and more cold twords everything. My friends seem to think I am not sensitive and that when they look in my eyes that I am dead.. Well that sunk into my brain and now I catch what they see in me.. I see that I am actually heartless and dead on the inside but I like it that way.. They say its not healthy and I say if you don't feel lonesome or sad why ask? They say those feelings are what I need.. I personally don't think I need them.. Sure I might look dead on the inside to people but thats what I want. If something comes along and makes me feel alive again then I will pursue it.. till then I just want to be my cold self.. Now that my friends have pointed out all these things to me I see them and then I actually start feeling alone.. it sucks but for the time being I'm not letting it bother me.

This weekend.. BOY it has been something... My friend pretty much just moved away leaving everything behind and no one knows where she is.. except me... her family calls me to see if I know and at first I didn't know.. I didn't want to know cause there is a reason why she left home.. but now I know where the general area is where she is at but no one has asked me where she is since she has told me so I am in the clear. I have to deal with her family and her boyfriend. Which I love them all but it gets tiring after having to stay up every night... People call me throughout the night.. I stayed up till 4 in the morning one night talking everyone down. I am the only person she really contacts cause I am her best friend and she knows I will do anything for her.

Then a bunch of my college friends came down to my house and we hung out ALL weekend. I am playing match maker with a couple of them. Which this week I have had to help 3 couples with their break ups and so I would like to at least get one of them together. I, myself, seem to think that I would like a significant other now because of all my friends pressuring me to get one.. I mean I have had no desire to get a "boyfriend" but everyone else seems to think that I NEED one to over come this cold heart, so I'm thinking about seeing if this works.. I am so picky though.. Idk how this is going to work

Well I have to go write a movie review for a history assignment so I will see you guys later!

I am a machine, built for rage and angst..

So I was told a couple weeks ago that I am really cold twords all men.. I didn't think this was true until I sat down and thought about it. My friends say I need to date a guy because I am not sensitive or anything anymore but I don't see anything wrong with that. So my friends were trying to get me together with this one guy we are friends with and he isn't my type at all but I finally decided after a bit that I might actually take him into consideration. So I actually start liking this guy yesterday.. I like to tell myself that I don't like someone so I don't get hurt or anything, and thats what I did until yesterday. We hung out and flirted A lot and so I was for sure I liked him then... The only bad thing is that he is "in love" with his ex still and his ex already has another boyfriend but says she wants to be with him and all that jazz. SO tonight I finally just wanted to know if he is wanting to go back with his ex or actually go out on dates with me and stuff because I didn't want to start to go out on dates and then all the sudden have him go to his ex. SO one of my friends decided to text him and talk to him without me knowing and apparently He does like me but he LOVES his ex sooo yeahh... Idk I just acted like it was cool cause thats how I act... AND I got to shove it into my friends faces that, that is why I haven't dated a guy in a while because I didn't even want to mess with guys now but they pushed me into it and now look. I actually start liking him and now he wants to be friends because of his ex. OH AND he texted me and said he would date me if his ex was out of the picture.. buuuttt she isn't and I'm NEVER going to be second best to anyone so screw that... So this is a lesson learned.. If your not ready to date and your friends think you are a heartless zombie and need to date.. don't listen to them because I liked being my heartless zombie self.. Its a heck of a lot better than feeling all down and stuff.. yeahhhhh HEARTLESS ZOMBIE...

Am I that Cold?

So today was a normal day like any other... For some odd reason my friends want to set me up with someone... Kia says that I am cold.. and she can just feel how cold I am to guys.. It's sad, yes, but I am fine with it. My last relationship didn't end up too well.. I just got sick and tired and then I just broke it off.. SO one of my friends is wanting me to date this one guy who is VERY good looking but Idk about his personality to be quite honest.. Today I actually had a deep conversation with him and that won him some points but still.. I don't know... Then there is this guy that I like SO much and then I decided I have no clue if he even remotely likes me so I gave up.. then today he came in and talked to me and said that he missed my company. No joke, if I were to date this guy... I would be the happiest girl in the world, but that won't come true so yeahhh... Other than that I really haven't been interested in guys at all lately. I am so tired I wanted to know what my MRI test results came back as but they haven't contacted us... it's been 3 days!!! and they said it would be 2.... I taught people guitar till midnight last night and stayed up till 2 in the morning doing homework.. it sucks but that would be college... So I am tired!

Today I got a blast from the past... My ex boyfriend.. the one who pretty much ruined me liking guys till like now.. texted me just to see how I am doing and whats up.. I haven't really seen or talked to the guy in almost a year and he randomly decides to text me hey???? Idk it's weird... I just don't know about anything in my life right now.. or at least the guy part. I am so independent that I don't necessarily NEED a boyfriend so why should I have one???

Anyway enough about boys, I went and hung out with Kia, Macy, and some other girl and went out to eat and then for some reason went to the mall? It reminds me of Junior High when everyone would just go to the mall to hang. Then I hung out with Kia till now and now I am about to go to bed... Anyways I think I am fine.. I don't think I am cold... just because I don't want ANYTHING doesn't mean I am cold and lonely.. just means I do not want anything.. Night everyone, See ya!

Feeling

So I just wrote this HUGE LONG Blog and this thing DELETED IT! DANG IT! I was almost done with it and my computer messed up! UGH! I'll try and remember what I said. I have a crazy story to tell you but first I want to tell you how I am doing right now.. I was reminiscing on my life with photos on facebook and I realized that I Love everything in my life. My family, friend, and everyone is great. I love god and I am truly blessed.

CRAZY STORY:

So I was going 50 in a 35 zone on a back road and there are usually no cops ever on that road and I go over a hill and see that cop and I slam on the breaks and act like I was looking at something. Then I look over and the cop wasn't paying attention. Later I go to my backpack and realize that my mother has my wallet that has my license in it. I was so glad I didn't get stopped

Then, I was driving home with a friend and I stop at this stop light and this guy about my age looks over at me and my friend . Then he would pass us and then we would pass him.. and this went on and on.. and I wasn't even meaning for this to happen. Then finally I got tired of him trying to speed past us so I just went right next to a bus and went the speed limit. About that time a cop that was going the other direction came around the corner and 5 minutes later I see blue lights coming. My stomach just dropped and I turned pale. I didn't have my license with me or anything. Then the cop pulled over that guy. I guess the cop saw him riding my butt. So then I take randi to work and then I see another cop hide behind a bush and I went the speed limit when I passed him on the way there and back. Then my mother get's home and said that she got stopped by a cop behind a bush, but she only got a warning. So that was crazy. 

Finally, I went to my friend Kia's house and hung out. Then when I left there I saw there were two cops behind me... I don't know what's my deal today but I am a cop magnet... 

The END

My MRI that I took on my knee yesterday went well. I won't get the results for another couple days and I just started teaching 2 people how to play guitar. I love music so much. and I am happy to do it. I am not going to read over this blog so if there are any typos I am sorry...I love  you guys and thanks for reading.. See Ya!

Guitar Day

So today I only had two classes because my other class was cancelled and so it was a short school day. Then I took Austin and I to go look for him a guitar because I have decided to teach him and a friend to play. So we go and look around and no one has the OMG factor.. then we went to a music place that we haven't heard of.. We walked in and there were over 200 guitars in the place.. but there was one guitar that was perfect.. it was THE GUITAR! I wanted it SO BAD but Austin ended up getting it.. It's and acoustic/electric Fender that was only $320.00 it was crazy how cheap it was for a fender. It's black with pearl accents on it.. it is beautiful. Then him and his friend came over tonight and I am teaching them collide by Howie Day. There was a car that got caught on fire today at walmart. My mother and I decided to go down and see what it looked like. It wasn't too bad but the car is messed up. Now to complain.. My knee hurts worse than it did when I broke it.. Not so much as hurting.. it's more uncomfortable than hurting. I am getting an MRI tomorrow.. I pray that I don't need surgery.. anyways I am barely staying awake. Night all, See ya!

Just got Back

Hello to all,

I didn't blog this weekend because I didn't have any internet connection OR cell service.. I went to Eureka with friends and I drove the entire time.. I had fun.. went bowling... Friday was Abby's birthday which is one of my good friends that lives in Eureka and we surprised her and drove all the way up there. Then Saturday we went to mass.. Now my friend Miranda had no clue what to expect in a catholic mass, so she had no clue what was going on. It didn't help that the original father wasn't there and his replacement was an old japanese man that was like 85 years old and couldn't find the page and forgot what he was talking about half way through prayers. So the entire mass was pretty much him saying "umm" but it was cool.. I like going to mass.. My knee is good i guess, I forgot to take my medicine at the time I usually do tonight so its taking a bit to kick in. That is one of the main reasons I am still awake. I went a little party tonight (family party) with one of my friends and it was really fun. I met a lot of people.. I love meeting new people. Anyway I better let you go, See Ya!